Start the mental health conversation

Caroline Rich shares tips on how to talk to your doctor about your mental health.

You can listen to this article below, or by using your favourite podcast player at pod.link/oncologybuddies

Each person is different as to how they deal with emotional issues in life. Being diagnosed with cancer is overwhelming and brings about fear of the unknown and feelings you may not even realise you have. There is no wrong or right way to feel. Whatever you’re experiencing is your truth and part of your journey.

It’s sometimes difficult to talk about emotions but in this setting, you must share them with your doctor. This can help you cope better which can make a difference to your quality of life during treatment.

Sharing your feelings

Some people have a better understanding than others of what cancer is and what is going to happen going forward. You may go onto the internet to read more about the cancer you have. However, sometimes having too much information (which may not always be scientifically accurate) can add to your fear and anxiety. That doesn’t mean you should never look online; use it as an opportunity to prepare questions for the doctor when you see them.

If you already have underlying mental conditions (depression and anxiety), it’s important to let your doctor know what treatment you are receiving for this. Make a list of the medications you are taking to give to the doctor at your first appointment.

In many instances, the doctors will share information with each other so that they can monitor your mental health through the treatment.

Besides the initial appointment, you will find that you don’t get to spend much time with the doctor.

There is much to discuss during the appointments regarding your physical condition, but it’s vital that time is used to express how you’re feeling emotionally. Even if you are the one to instigate the discussion.

Note, when you are with your doctor in their rooms, this is your sacred space, and you need to be honest and open with how you are coping mentally.

Prepare for your appointment

Prepare by jotting down your feelings and be specific. Examples could be:

• Mood changes (sadness, irritability, numbness, hopelessness).
• Anxiety about treatments, test results, or the future.
• Sleep or appetite problems.
• Trouble concentrating or lack of motivation.
• Fear of being a burden to loved ones.

In addition, always make a list of questions that you want to ask regarding your mental health. Some examples:

• Is it normal to be anxious, depressed, and overwhelmed during treatment?
• Will the medication cause side effects that will affect my mood?
• What can I do to make sure that I can cope better emotionally?
• Are there medications that can help?
• What other coping strategies are there to help me feel less anxious?

Shove the shame

Don’t be embarrassed to share or ask about anything that is troubling you, even if you think it seems small. Your doctor is used to talking about the emotional aspect of your diagnosis, so use the time you have with them optimally.

Ask the doctor for resources that are available with regards to helping you cope better. Many practices have in-house counsellors. If they suggest that you see this person, or even a psychologist or counsellor outside of the practice, it’s a good idea to follow their suggestion. This may unravel underlying feelings that you’re not even aware of.

Your relationship with your doctor

As each person is different, so too are doctors and they may have different approaches and personalities. Your relationship with your doctor is important and you need to feel comfortable and supported by them.

If you find that the doctor that you are consulting with, is not giving you the emotional support you need, there is nothing wrong with going to see a different doctor. This is your right, and you don’t need to worry about what they will think about you. This practise is accepted amongst medical professionals.

Healing

Your emotional well-being is as important as your physical condition when it comes to living with cancer. It has been shown that coping better and feeling less stressed can benefit healing. That is why it’s vital that you share everything that you’re feeling with your doctor when you’re sitting in front of them for that limited time. If you feel supported and less anxious, it will help you deal better with the journey going forward.