Making a memory box

You can listen to this article below, or by using your favourite podcast player at pod.link/oncologybuddies

Throughout my son Jed’s journey with brain cancer, I learned a lesson I’ll never forget: the power of creating memories. It’s those small moments—the ones that seem insignificant at the time—that have brought me the most healing. Those memories are all I have left, and they sustain me.

The most profound healing came from making Jed’s memory box. Sorting through his first scan, his handprints, his favourite toys, and treatment beads brought tears, yes, but also an immense sense of peace. Each item spoke to his strength and our bond; a bond cancer couldn’t touch. This memory box became more than a collection of things; it became a celebration of his life, a testament to our love, and a source of solace.

I can’t help but wish I had captured more—more photos, more art, more moments to preserve in that box. I long for more tangible pieces of him to hold onto. But what I have are reminders that love and joy can exist, even in the hardest of times.

A safe refuge

Jed’s memory box has become my refuge. When life feels overwhelming or grief creeps in, I open it. It’s a place where I allow myself to feel, to remember, and to let the tears flow. It’s where I find peace amidst life’s chaos, a reminder of the love we shared and the resilience we both possessed.

Memory-making isn’t just about preserving the past; it’s about creating something meaningful in the present, something that will endure long after the storm has passed.

Creating a memory box: treasures that speak to the heart

The memory box you create will be deeply personal, filled with items that carry unique meaning to your journey, whether you’re surviving cancer or remembering a loved one who has passed. Here are treasures to include:

Photographs

These are more than just pictures; they are fragments of time, frozen moments of joy, laughter, and connection. Even the ordinary moments hold extraordinary weight. Capture every smile, every embrace, and every small victory. Take the messy hair picture!

Artwork

Whether it’s a crayon drawing, a handmade card, or a craft made during treatment; these creations are treasures. I saved so much of Jed’s artwork, and it’s splashed all over my home. It’s raw and honest and carries a piece of who he was.

Favourite toys or comfort items

For Jed, it was Buzz Lightyear, his steadfast companion through treatments. Buzz wasn’t just a toy; he was a symbol of Jed’s innocence and comfort during the darkest days. Buzz was his treatment buddy; when I couldn’t be in the room, Buzz was.

Treatment beads

Each bead Jed received after his treatments was a badge of courage. Now these beads are a tangible reminder of the number of surgeries, chemo sessions, radiation, blood/platelet transfusions he endured. These beads are sad symbols of resilience when we had hope.

Letters or notes

Write letters to your loved one or to yourself. These can be filled with gratitude, love, or small moments you might otherwise forget

Personal mementos

A favourite piece of clothing, a bracelet, or even a beloved scarf can carry deep sentimental value.

Messages from loved ones

Collect notes of support from family, friends, and medical staff. These words remind you of the love that surrounded you, even in the hardest times. Consider creating a message book for people to fill with thoughts and encouragement during treatment.

A memory jar

This is something I wish I’d done. Fill a jar with notes about happy moments, funny memories, small victories, and words of love. When sadness threatens, pull out a note and relive the joy.

Hair and nail clippings

Fourteen years later, Jed’s curls are still safely tucked away in a blue envelope. These are small, tangible reminders of the person you love.

Your story, your healing, your love

A memory box is a box of strength, a space to visit your sadness, and a way to honour the journey. Your memory box is your story, your healing, and your love. Fill it with treasures that speak to your heart. Whether the person survives or dies, the memories in this box will remain forever.